{"id":4095,"date":"2020-10-21T14:03:40","date_gmt":"2020-10-21T18:03:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/?p=4095"},"modified":"2022-05-01T10:55:40","modified_gmt":"2022-05-01T14:55:40","slug":"love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/","title":{"rendered":"Love is a Choice, Not a Feeling"},"content":{"rendered":"

Love is a Choice, Not a Feeling<\/span><\/h1>\n

I have been pregnant four times, each experience was unique to itself. I experienced happiness, disbelief, grief, heartburn, nausea, swelling, and much more.\u00a0 I remember lying on top of my covers with the fan and AC on full blast complaining about the heat as my husband hid under a down comforter and was cold. Sometimes I was mean and uncomfortable, and other times my pregnancy was wonderful.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I know I am not alone in these experiences. For many women, pregnancy is not an enjoyable time. Pregnancy is often much more challenging than women expect it to be. Many mothers love babies but hate being pregnant. Others love being pregnant but dislike the newborn phase.<\/span><\/p>\n

All these feelings are normal. How can we cope with unwanted negative feelings? How can we choose to feel the love?<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Have realistic expectations<\/b><\/p>\n

Pregnancy and postpartum are physically and emotionally demanding times. A woman\u2019s hormones fluctuate daily, weekly, and even monthly. It is not realistic to expect yourself to feel the way you normally would.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, every pregnancy is different, it is true. No two pregnancies are the same even in the same woman with the same partner.\u00a0 Each baby has its own personality and needs and new mothers can recognize them during pregnancy and postpartum.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even women who had pregnancy or infant loss, NICU stays, or complicated pregnancies can have radically different experiences with the next baby.\u00a0 Today in the pandemic, times are even more unsettling, increasing your stress and fears.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Be patient with yourself and your baby<\/b><\/p>\n

Becoming a parent is a major life change.\u00a0 Some people adapt easily, and for others, it is a longer process. Your adaptability will also be affected by many factors: your health, access to your providers or support system, social distancing, etc.\u00a0 Needing more time to adjust to a new phase of life is not a sign of weakness or a sign that you don’t love your baby.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For some parents, this may make you question how you feel the way, especially if you expected to feel differently towards your baby or your pregnancy. This is normal. Not everyone is bonded with their child in utero or at birth. Each parent’s experience and relationship are different, normal, and their own. Not feeling a certain way is not a sign that you don\u2019t love your baby or are a bad parent. It may just mean that you need more time to adjust.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Love is a choice, not a feeling<\/b><\/p>\n

It is easy to love someone when you feel affection toward them, but that isn\u2019t necessarily true love.\u00a0 The love of a parent is less about feeling a certain way. It is about the choice you make to care for and protect your child. Love is choosing to welcome a child into your life. Love is getting up and feeding the baby when you are exhausted.\u00a0 Love is putting your baby\u2019s needs in front of your own.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Remember love is a choice, not a feeling. Love is the daily choice to care for yourself, your partner, and your child. Love is choosing to persist, even when it is difficult.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For many women, pregnancy is not an enjoyable time. Pregnancy is often much more challenging than women expect it to be. For many mothers they love babies but hate being pregnant. Others love being pregnant but dislike the newborn phase.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":3923,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[19,20,273,82],"class_list":["post-4095","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-birth-you-desire-blog","tag-anxiety","tag-depression","tag-love","tag-ppd"],"yoast_head":"\nLove is a Choice, Not a Feeling - Birth You Desire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"For many women, pregnancy and postpartum is not an enjoyable time. Love is the choice to care even when you don't want to.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Love is a Choice, Not a Feeling - Birth You Desire\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"For many women, pregnancy and postpartum is not an enjoyable time. Love is the choice to care even when you don't want to.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Birth You Desire\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/BirthYouDesire\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-10-21T18:03:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-05-01T14:55:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Screen-Shot-2020-02-03-at-8.02.31-PM.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"409\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"616\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Ursula Sabia Sukinik\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Ursula Sabia Sukinik\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/\",\"name\":\"Love is a Choice, Not a Feeling - Birth You Desire\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Screen-Shot-2020-02-03-at-8.02.31-PM.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-10-21T18:03:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-05-01T14:55:40+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/3dff247a659b803164ea42e4b983dab5\"},\"description\":\"For many women, pregnancy and postpartum is not an enjoyable time. Love is the choice to care even when you don't want to.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Screen-Shot-2020-02-03-at-8.02.31-PM.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Screen-Shot-2020-02-03-at-8.02.31-PM.png\",\"width\":409,\"height\":616,\"caption\":\"mother holding infant\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Love is a Choice, Not a Feeling\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/\",\"name\":\"Birth You Desire\",\"description\":\"Washington DC Metro Area Premiere Birth Support\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/3dff247a659b803164ea42e4b983dab5\",\"name\":\"Ursula Sabia Sukinik\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f890467802ab9560ee6a70a5b6a57f9d?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f890467802ab9560ee6a70a5b6a57f9d?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Ursula Sabia Sukinik\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/woocommerce-330963-1423064.cloudwaysapps.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/author\/ursula301\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Love is a Choice, Not a Feeling - Birth You Desire","description":"For many women, pregnancy and postpartum is not an enjoyable time. Love is the choice to care even when you don't want to.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/","og_locale":"en_GB","og_type":"article","og_title":"Love is a Choice, Not a Feeling - Birth You Desire","og_description":"For many women, pregnancy and postpartum is not an enjoyable time. Love is the choice to care even when you don't want to.","og_url":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/","og_site_name":"Birth You Desire","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/BirthYouDesire\/","article_published_time":"2020-10-21T18:03:40+00:00","article_modified_time":"2022-05-01T14:55:40+00:00","og_image":[{"width":409,"height":616,"url":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Screen-Shot-2020-02-03-at-8.02.31-PM.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Ursula Sabia Sukinik","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Ursula Sabia Sukinik","Estimated reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/","url":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/","name":"Love is a Choice, Not a Feeling - Birth You Desire","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Screen-Shot-2020-02-03-at-8.02.31-PM.png","datePublished":"2020-10-21T18:03:40+00:00","dateModified":"2022-05-01T14:55:40+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/3dff247a659b803164ea42e4b983dab5"},"description":"For many women, pregnancy and postpartum is not an enjoyable time. Love is the choice to care even when you don't want to.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-GB","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-GB","@id":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Screen-Shot-2020-02-03-at-8.02.31-PM.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Screen-Shot-2020-02-03-at-8.02.31-PM.png","width":409,"height":616,"caption":"mother holding infant"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/love-is-a-choice-not-a-feeling\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Love is a Choice, Not a Feeling"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/","name":"Birth You Desire","description":"Washington DC Metro Area Premiere Birth Support","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-GB"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/3dff247a659b803164ea42e4b983dab5","name":"Ursula Sabia Sukinik","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-GB","@id":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f890467802ab9560ee6a70a5b6a57f9d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f890467802ab9560ee6a70a5b6a57f9d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Ursula Sabia Sukinik"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/woocommerce-330963-1423064.cloudwaysapps.com"],"url":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/author\/ursula301\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4095","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4095"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4095\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6494,"href":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4095\/revisions\/6494"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3923"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4095"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/birthyoudesire.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}