Setting Limits with Friends and Family

As a birth doula, I frequently hear from, my clients, about the frequent calls and messages requesting labor updates, which was challenging. Has the baby arrived yet? You are still pregnant? Are you feeling contractions?

Even though the family and friends are only trying to show their excitement and concern these questions oftentimes have my clients pulling their hair out and screening their calls. From the receiving side, constant checking in can be overwhelming and challenging.  As due dates come and go it can be hard to stay relaxed when everyone is reaching out to remind you of your due date.

Here are three of my suggestions to make your labor and recovery time easier.

1. Chose to either embrace or not engage in social media. If you share your pregnancy online you are essentially welcoming everyone to check in on you and offer words of advice.
2. Set up communication guidelines ahead of time with friends and family.  Either plan a phone call tree or set up a group email message that goes out all at once so that the aunts and uncles don’t think you played favorites.
3. Post both digitally and print out a birth announcement for your front door. The suggested one below announces the baby and their stats, yet most importantly informs visitors of your needs to recuperate and bond while asking your visitors to pitch in.  The list is editable, so feel free to change it to your needs.  I love this idea as it encourages your visitors to pitch in and offer a helping hand as you navigate a new chapter in your lives.

We have a NEW baby!

Name:

Birthdate and Time:

Weight and length:

Having a baby is hard work! We need your assistance in resting and adjusting in order for our family to bond together.   We appreciate your visit and appreciate it even more by your helping us to complete the necessary tasks in this home so that we can continue to heal, bond, and learn all about our new baby.

1. Please do not come in if you are sick or have been around who has been sick. Our baby is precious cargo.
2. Wash your hands as soon as you come in.
3. Pick one or more items from the list below as a gift of time and love to our family.  We really appreciate it!

• Prepare or arrange a meal
• Mop or vacuum
• Grocery shopping
• Ask for a task
• Clean up the kitchen
• Walk the dog
• Clean the bathroom
• Take the toddler to the park
• Do a load or two of laundry
• Water the plants, garden, lawn
• Take out the trash
• Ask for a task

Thank you,
The proud parents!

We Have a New Baby Door Sign PDF