How to Support Your Partner During Labor: A Guide for Birth Partners
The big moment is here—your baby is on the way and she needs your support! You’re excited. but right now, your partner is fully focused on managing the sensations of labor. Maybe she seems irritable or hard to comfort, and you find yourself unsure of what to do. Don’t worry—this is all normal, and your support is vital. There are many ways you can be actively involved, providing comfort and reassurance during this transformative experience.
Here is your ultimate cheat sheet to help you support your partner during labor. With these tips, you’ll know exactly how to be present, offer comfort, and participate meaningfully as she brings new life into the world.
How to Support Your Partner During Early Labor
- Get Ready for Labor Assist with packing bags, preparing the birthing space, or gathering any essentials you both will needs.
- Offer Encouragement Remind them how strong and ready they is. Studies show that positive affirmations reduce stress levels and contribute to better labor outcomes (Bohren et al., 2017).
- Make Tea or Broth Red raspberry leaf tea, in particular, is known to tone the uterus and prepare it for efficient contractions. Offer a warm comforting drink or tasty ice cubes.
- Prepare a Light Meal Providing a nutritious snacks or a light meal can help you both to skeep your energy up. Labor is an energy-intensive process, and adequate nourishment is key (Simkin & Bolding, 2004).
- Provide Distraction Play games, watch TV, or take her for a foot massage. Stay relaxed and distracted in early labor to conserve energy for later stages.
- Suggest a Shower or Bath Warm water is known for its ability to relax muscles and ease contractions. Hydrotherapy has been shown to be effective in reducing labor pain (Cluett & Burns, 2009).
- Suggest a Nap Encourage a nap or sleep. Early labor can sometimes take hours, and conserving energy is important.
- Remind Her to Relax Relaxation helps labor progress smoothly and prevents unnecessary tension. Remember, every contraction is bringing the baby closer.
- Call the Doula If you have a doula, keep them informed. Doulas are trained to provide physical, emotional, and informational support during labor and have been shown to reduce the need for medical interventions (Hodnett et al., 2013).
Feeling Overwhelmed?
- Reassure Reassure her that she is safe, and remind her of her strength. Continuous reassurance during labor is associated with lower pain scores and better birth experiences (Hodnett et al., 2013).
- Focal item Provide something comforting for her to focus on during contractions—this can help distract from the intensity.
- Remind the Purpose Keep focused on the end goal: meeting your baby. Visualizing the outcome can help to stay motivated.
- Suggest Movement or a Position Change Changing positions can help labor progress and reduce pain. Movement during labor is associated with shorter labor times and improved comfort (Lawrence et al., 2013).
- Create a Calm Environment Ask unnecessary visitors to leave if they are causing stress. A calm, supportive environment promotes oxytocin release, which helps labor progress (Odent, 2015).
- Breathe Together Place your hands on your partner’s face or belly and breathe together during contractions. Rhythmic breathing helps you both to stay calm and focused.
- Remember The Contractions Are Power remember that the contractions cannot be stronger than they are, because they are being created by their own body! Try ro ride each wave with gratitude— as it is bringing you one step closer to meeting the baby.
- Cool Her Down Wash her face and neck with a cool cloth or fan her gently. Maintaining a comfortable body temperature is important, as overheating can increase her discomfort (Simkin & O’Hara, 2002).
- Call the Doula If you have a doula, keep them informed. Doulas are trained to provide physical, emotional, and informational support during labor and have been shown to reduce the need for medical interventions (Hodnett et al., 2013).
Support if the Abdomen or Back Hurts
- Use the Bathroom Often An empty bladder provides more space for the baby and reduces discomfort.
- Change Positions Every 30 minutes Changing positions helps reduce pressure and improves comfort.
- Massage Gently Use light touch to massage the lower belly and thighs, which can help relax the area and alleviate pain.
- Offer a Warm Heating Pad A warm compress can ease the tension on the abdominal muscles.
- Support Swaying Movements Support swaying and rocking of the hips with the contractions—movement can provide comfort and reduce pain.
- Call the Doula If you have a doula, keep them informed. Doulas are trained to support you both by providing physical, emotional, and informational support during labor and have been shown to reduce the need for medical interventions.
Tips to Support Relaxation
- Use Physical Touch Hold hands, gently stroke their arm, or guide her to shake out her hands to release tension.
- Talk About Relaxing Memories Guide her thoughts to a relaxing memory to help her mind focus on positive feelings.
- Offer Ice Chips or fluids Ice chips can help cool the body down and keep stay hydrated which helps with relaxation.
- Play Music or Use Guided Meditation Relaxing music or a calming guided meditation can be helpful for staying centered.
- Gentle Massage Rub the back, neck, or feet—physical touch releases endorphins, which can naturally alleviate pain and reduce anxiety.
- Exude Calm and Confidence It’s easy to feel vulnerable and anxious. By remaining calm and confident, you become a reassuring anchor to be relied on.
How to Support an Aching Back
- Change Positions Certain positions, like hands and knees, can help relieve back pain. Repositioning is key to managing back labor.
- Warm or Cold Compress Apply warmth to relax muscles or use cold to numb the pain.
- Apply Counter-Pressure Firmly press on the lower back or sacrum during contractions—this can significantly alleviate back pain.
- Sit Back to Back Sitting back-to-back allows her to lean into you for support while applying pressure to the back.
- Hand and Foot massage Foot and hand massage can help relax muscles and promote blood flow.
If Contractions Slow Down
- Encourage Rest A rest period can help her body build up the energy needed to continue labor.
- Discuss Fears and Anxieties Fear can sometimes stall labor. Acknowledge her concerns and reassure her that she is safe.
- Intimate Connection Kissing, cuddling, or gentle nipple stimulation can promote oxytocin release, which helps contractions pick back up.
- Hydrated and Nourished Energy is essential during labor, so stay hydrated and well-nourished. Clear liquids include: broth, jell-o, energy Gu, juice, and much more.
- Suggest a Walk or Hot Shower Movement and warmth can help stimulate or calm contractions again.
- Encourage Sleep if Needed If labor has stalled, rest is key. Support her by laying down together. It can offer comfort and help recharge her energy for the journey ahead.
- Call the Doula for suggestions and help.
Be Present, Be Supportive, and Be Encouraging
Labor is an incredibly powerful and transformative experience, not only for the birthing partner but also for you. By providing support, reassurance, and comfort, you are playing a critical role in bringing your baby into the world.
The tips shared here are evidence-based ways to help your partner through the labor process. Remember, every labor is unique—listen to her needs, and adapt as necessary. Your steady presence will make all the difference as you welcome new life together.
References
- Bohren, M. A., Hofmeyr, G. J., Sakala, C., Fukuzawa, R. K., & Cuthbert, A. (2017). Continuous support for women during childbirth. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews.
- Cluett, E. R., & Burns, E. (2009). Immersion in water in labour and birth. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews.
- Hodnett, E. D., Gates, S., Hofmeyr, G. J., Sakala, C. (2013). Continuous support for women during childbirth. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews.
- Lawrence, A., Lewis, L., Hofmeyr, G. J., Dowswell, T., & Styles, C. (2013). Maternal positions and mobility during first stage labour. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews.
- Odent, M. (2015). The birth of Homo, the marine chimpanzee: When, where, and how the first phase of birth became decidedly human. Midwifery Today International Midwife.
- Simkin, P., & Bolding, A. (2004). Update on nonpharmacologic approaches to relieve labor pain and prevent suffering. Journal of Midwifery & Women’s Health.
- Simkin, P. (2012). Pain, suffering, and trauma in labor and prevention of subsequent posttraumatic stress disorder. Journal of Perinatal Education.